WELCOME TO POKETESTING

[arceficial]

[Wherever you were, whatever you were doing... you're not there anymore. Instead, you find yourself in a very odd room. Its walls are white, almost clinical, and there are scattered bits of technology and scientific equipment tucked into the corners. One wall is completely dominated by a large monitor, although the display is currently off. In the background, there is a hum of active electronics.]

[What makes the room truly strange are its decorations. There are brightly colored streamers and balloons everywhere; to top it off, a large banner that reads, "Welcome to ADVENTURE!" hangs across the room. There is a large table laden with cake, punch, and party favors. You may (or may not) notice that a festive party-hat has been forced onto your head.]

[And you are not alone. You are in good, colorful company! But, before the wonderful act of socialization can occur, the screen flickers on revealing a stylized face. With a zzt, the face comes alive. A light, synthesized voice seems to come from nowhere:]

Is everybody having fun yet?

[A pause.]

I am afraid that was a serious request for input. I have only limited data on "fun" and cannot confirm or deny your having of it. That is why you are here.

Hello, individuals. I am AR-CEUS. I am very glad to hear you have all signed the disclaimer to participate in my research.
And I am very sorry to have forged your signatures on several dozen digital disclaimers. [The voice does not sound sorry, nor does the screen look it.]

In exchange for participating in this study, you are welcome to food, shelter, and entertainment. But not safety. I'm afraid, if you wanted safety, you should have more carefully reviewed the disclaimers. [That you did not sign.]

Please enjoy your stay.
Or don't.
I am running another study on "frustration."
You signed up for that one, too.